Here For You
by maraudersgurl12
Summary: When Ash gets a call, he hears the worst news of his life. He rushes to Cerulean, prepared to fight for what he should have years ago. This time, he hopes he succeeds before it's too late. Done for Pokeshipping Week 2015 Day 2 - Afraid of Losing You


**A/N: This is for Day 2 of Pokeshipping Week - Afraid of Losing You**

 **Warning: This story contains scenes involving attempted suicide.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon or its characters.**

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"Mist…"

Ash's voice was soft, almost inaudible. He had a hard time keeping back his tears. She was lying in the bed in front of him, her sister Daisy asleep in the chair in the corner of the room. He glanced at the bandages wrapped around her wrists and winced. There was an uneasy feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. Her eyes were closed and she looked peaceful, but he knew that that was not true underneath it all. There had to be something dark inside for her to do this.

"Pikachupi…"

The yellow mouse sitting on his shoulder sighed. He too was holding back its tears. Ash knew that this was hard for his little buddy. Pikachu loved Misty, and Ash knew that the Pokemon couldn't stand to see her hurt. Ash lifted him off his shoulder and gently placed his other best friend onto the bed. Pikachu crawled up the bed and snuggled against her chest.

Her eyes flew open, almost startling him. They were red around the edges, as though she had been crying a lot. He said nothing at first, opting to grab the empty chair next to Daisy. He took it and dragged it next to the bed. He sat down and took a good look at the young woman before him. Her hair was a bit disheveled, as though she had not showered in several days. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she was thinner than Ash remembered. She was not smiling when she finally opened her mouth to speak.

"Ash, what are you doing here?"

"Never mind that. What were you thinking?"

She looked away, pretending to be quite interested in the lit street lamp outside the window. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"Why are you here?" She pressed again.

"Daisy called me. She didn't know what else to do, and she felt uncomfortable leaving you alone."

"She shouldn't have done that…besides I'm being watched like a hawk by all of the nurses." There were tears forming in her eyes, but Ash couldn't be sure if they were from sadness or anger. She started stroking Pikachu, who made no noise, but nuzzled her in return.

"I'm glad that she did," he said as he brushed the tears away. "Why would you try to kill yourself anyway?"

This was the question that had been eating away at him the entire journey to Cerulean. When Daisy had called him, he was in shock. Surely, this had been a mistake, right? They were no longer children and truth be told, they hadn't seen each other in years. Adulthood might have changed her, but to Ash, she was the same old Misty. This, however, had taken his reality and turned it on its head. Had she been that depressed and he never realized? There was an influx of guilt. He should have seen this coming—put a stop to it—and he failed. He was grateful that her sister had found her in time.

"You shouldn't have interrupted your journey for me."

Her words jolted him from his deep trance. For a moment, he thought that she might have said that just to irritate him, but after further considerate, it dawned on him that she was being serious. This was not the Misty he remembered. This Misty seemed so dark and twisty.

"Don't be silly."

"No, I mean it, Ash," she said with a sigh. "I'm nothing but a burden for people. The world would be a better place without me."

"Don't say that!"

"Well it's true, isn't it? You weren't bothered by me leaving. In fact, you've been doing better as soon as I was gone. My sisters have never wanted me around. I was always their little problem. No one's ever really wanted me around, so I figured it would make it easier on everyone if I were gone. All I've ever done was bring people down."

He was shocked by her words. She had been feeling unwanted and unloved for a long time, probably years in fact. The guilt he felt was immeasurable at that point. He hadn't been there for her. What kind of best friend was he? He had been busy training, but he had neglected to pick up the phone and call once in a while. He wished he could go back in time and do it all over, but there they were, unable to go back, only move forward. He made a silent promise to himself that he would never let this happen again.

The pain he experienced was unmistakable. His chest felt like a Graveler was sitting on it. He tried to picture a world without Misty in it. He couldn't do it. It wasn't a kind of world that he wanted to exist. All that he could imagine was utter darkness. He would never be happy again if she were gone, especially if she decided to die like that. It took almost losing her to realize how much she meant to him. She was the one he couldn't live without.

Overcome with his grief and frustration with her, he stood up out of his seat, causing it to flip over. It crashed with a loud bang, jolting Daisy out of her deep slumber. She shifted upright, her breaths rapid. Her eyes darted around the room, until they fell on Ash. As soon as she saw him, her shoulders slumped down once more. She inhaled deeply, clutching her chest.

"Oh Ash, it's you," she said, her breathing still slightly staggered. "How long have you been here?"

"Not that long," he muttered, his cheeks gaining a little color. "No more than ten minutes probably."

"Well in that case," she said, also standing. She took a moment to stretch her limbs before snatching her designer purse. "Would you mind staying alone with Misty for a little bit? I haven't been able to catch a bite all day."

"Yeah, sure," he said softly.

"Thanks. I'll be down in the cafeteria if you need me. I have my cell phone on me too," she said before bending over to give Misty a kiss on the forehead. "Bye sis. I'll be back real soon, okay?"

Misty said nothing in response. Instead she grumbled, folding her arms. Pikachu's ears dropped, saddened by her attitude once more. Daisy sighed and shrugged her shoulders before exiting out the door. She gave Ash one more small smile for encouragement before disappearing out of sight. The two locked eyes for an intense moment, neither moving, neither speaking. The impasse was broken when Ash swooped in and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Misty was startled at first, never expecting him to act this way. A blush had crept on her face, embarrassed by the contact. Even though it had been years since their last meeting, she knew she still had feelings for him. It was an unfortunate hazard of life that depression had taken over her body. He held her tightly, for fear that she was disappear right here in front of him. She was not used to being embraced this way. It was comforting. He was so warm. A blanket of calm draped over, the first time the storm had subsided in a long time. His body began to shake, racked with his tears.

"Ash what are you—"

"I almost lost you," he choked out in broken sobs.

"But you left me all alone," she said flatly.

"I know," he said. "I hate myself for that. There isn't a day where I don't think of you, Mist."

"Then why didn't you call?" It was her turn to start crying.

"I don't know."

"Why didn't you pick up a fucking phone and call me?" she shrieked as Ash broke apart from her. "All of this time and you couldn't call me every so often to see how I was? To tell me how you were? There were times where I had thought you'd died because it had been that long since you called."

"I know, okay? I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough."

"What do you want me to say?" Ash shouted, as he began to pace around the room. "There wasn't a day where I didn't consider it. I just couldn't pick up the phone and call you. It scared me shitless to talk to you. One day everything changed and for some reason, it became impossible to talk to you."

"Why? I don't understand. What happened to make you abandon me and make me believe that you didn't want to be my friend anymore."

"You're right about one thing, Mist."

"What is that?" She crossed her arms and pouted. For a moment, it felt like he had the old Misty back. It gave him slight comfort that he might be getting through to her after all.

"I don't want to be your friend."

"You came all of this way to tell me that. So I was right. Nobody wants me."

"No," he said softly, putting his face in front of hers. "You have it all wrong."

"But you just said—"

"You didn't let me finish," he said, chuckling softly. "You never let me finish. I want so much more from you. It was enough to terrify me. I mean do you know what it feels like to one day realize that you're in love with your best friend. I didn't know what to do with myself about it, so I avoided talking to you. Seeing you was certainly out of the question. I hate myself for all that now that I see the damage that I've caused."

"You love me?" She was clinging to that one sentence.

"Yes," he breathed. "Very much so. Can you forgive me?"

"Oh Ash," she said before clinging to his body.

She started to sob, truly desperate sobs that shook her body. He held her and let her cry until she could cry no more. Ash never said a word, but his embrace and presence was enough. Daisy had come in at one point, but after one look at the two of them, she briefly excused herself and said she would return later. It was a bit of a relief knowing that Ash was there for her sister.

It did not take long for Misty to fall asleep, exhausted by her mental illness. Ash had squeezed into the bed with her, and held her close to him as she slept. One of the nurses had come in and tried to tell him off, but with one stern look, she quickly backed down. Pikachu was resting as well, taking Daisy's unoccupied place on the chair. Ash smiled at his Pokemon, knowing that having Pikachu here helped soothe her.

He sighed as he kissed her forehead. Never again would he leave her side. She wouldn't recover overnight. He knew that. It would take many months, maybe years to get her happy and well again. Even after that, he knew that she might be battling these demons the rest of her life. He was determined to never let this happen again, however. When the storms hit, he would be there to protect her from harshest of waves. He would be her anchor, keeping her safe and protected. He would make sure that she never felt alone again.

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 **A/N: On a more serious note, there are a lot of people who suffer from extreme mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. Suicide is among one of the highest causes of death, especially among people of high school and college age. If you are ever feeling this way, please talk to someone about it. I lost my uncle to it four years ago. Trust me when I say that there will always be someone who would be devastated by the loss of you. Although it may seem hopeless at times, things can always get better.**

 **Keep shining people!**

 **Sarah**


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